Diary of A Deck: Day Two

Day two.  October 1st, 2011.  Seven-hundred hours.  Colby was up at the ass-crack of dawn (can you say ass-crack in a “formal” mission report?) to secure a post hole digger from a local rental shop.

The weather was less than ideal but our lead builder, Colby was adamant about continuing on with the mission…in the pouring rain…Operation Deck Build commenced.  With the temporary stairs in place:

It was time to build the deck.  First step, dig the deck post holes.

Regulation depth, according to the City of Brewer Code Office, is 5 ft deep for post holes.  Note to self…5 ft down is a bit….deep.  The hand-held post hole digger is completely submerged in the earth.

While Angie was still AWOL (sources have confirmed that she spent the rainy Saturday on a kitchen tour…a fundraiser for the local cancer society), Colby was hard at work constructing the base section for the deck.

He couldn’t pour the cement footers because we were waiting for authority approval (the code office needs to make sure those post holes are dug deep enough).  The deck is temporarily supported with cement blocks and temporary posts.  Thus began the tedious process of nailing down the deck planks.

By sixteen hundred hours, the troops (Colby) were beat.  With the rain beating down, the cold set in.  A cold that chilled you to the bones.  Cold…wet…fatigued…Colby trudged on like a real trooper.  Angie returned to us as nighttime began to fall.  She resumed her Goose attack protection services while Colby pressed on.  We encountered several Goose attacks, some severe, in her absence.  With proper Goose protection, Colby was able to finish the deck surface, just as the heavy stuff began to come down on this cold, dark night.

I’m not sure how much longer the troops can continue working in these conditions.  They are beat and the weather is proving problematic.  But Operation Deck Build is so close to completion I can taste it.  Next up, stairs and railings.  If tomorrow’s mission goes well enough and the weather cooperates, we may successfully complete the mission.  But if we suffer too many Goose attacks, we may need to abort and focus on operation “Goose Run” for awhile.

Pssst….I promise, tomorrow is the LAST post that I will channel my inner general.  I swear!


  1. Can you send Colby to Iowa next to 1st cut a hole in my house, 2nd install a sliding glass door (something by Anderson?) and then build a beautiful deck. I have lodging. And if he’s feeling ambitious, he can re-solder the pipes to our basement shower and have his own private bathroom. Please?

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